CBYJ: #first date

22:11

First Dates

Hello Everyone!

The days are getting longer, the flowers are blooming, trees and gras are getting green again and birds are tweeting. Yes my lovelies it is spring. Spring the season of new beginnings, new life, energy and youth. And what comes with it, yes of course the natural interest of the opposite gender.

People are going out more, being more out- doorsy and it appears to be possible to be more attentive to little hints of a person that awoke your interest.

At least that's is the case with me. And as I found myself googling "first- dates" I had to write about my own experiences to maybe give some useful advice to others in the same situation, especially now where this scenario will become more often for many (young) women.

In the following text I will tell you my very first date experience and guide you a little bit through basics to follow that I have read about and that have been helpful for me. I have to say I have been a lucky girl and so far my date was a positive adventure.

1. Asking for a meet up

The first step to even get a date is to ask or be asked. No worries if you are the one being asked, but what if you are the one asking? There is always the possibility to be rejected but what I told myself in the end were the sentences "You'll never know for sure if you don't.! and "Maybe he's is just on another path in his life."

One day I just decided to write and tell him he seemed interesting and I'd like to get to know him better. It turned out that he was or is in a stressful phase but liked that the interest came from me. Therefore he overtook everything else and planned the date itself.

So, there is nothing to worry about, about asking. If not, it's just not meant to be, if yes, it is. It's pretty much a win- win- situation for you that boosts your self- esteem.

2. Not too many expectations

Keep in mind that you just want to see if there is a possibility that this is a person you get along with. Do not expect being picked up by a horse carriage to a fancy restaurant. No, lower you expectations to maybe just a walk in the park or coffees

3. The outfit

If you think of a walk or going out for a coffee on your own, what would you wear? I'd be dressing very casual. No fancy dressing or tight skirts. I'd go in something that I am comfortable with and something that I like but still something that shows that I care about it and not my PJ's.

I ended up in a black pair of jeans, a white v-neck jumper and a leather jacket combined with some sneakers and a scarf. Very legere and cool. No high heels as you might overestimate his hight and end up being taller than him. Well, call e conservative but that'd ruin the romantic for me.

As for a casual outfit you should keep your hair and make- up the same. I wore my hair open as always because that is me and had a light make up and in drew attention to my eyes as I find them my best feature. Also I but a very, very light red lipstick on. It all looked very natural and well ordered.

4. Be yourself

So this is something I knew about and read about all the effing time but did not understand. Now that I think back I do though.

It means, be honest but not shy and not hyperactive. Don't worry too much about awkwardness in-between (this can happen but it's okay, you are just getting to know each other). Pretty much self- explainable but important to mention, do not talk about deep topics like politics or issues in your family or don't tell him your whole life story as this is either too much information or opinions can be too different which lead to little arguments.

You want to get to know each other and see if you connect. Rather ask about hobbies &interests, music, school & job, funny stories and a bit about the family. Just talk about the lighter things in life, find topics you both can laugh about, see if you have a similar kind of humour.

5. Further Dates?

Well, first, for the ones who wonder. Usually this thing lasts for about 2 hours. You basically just make a picture for yourself and you will know if you want to see that other person again or not. Pretty easy, if you wish to watch the newest episode of your favorite TV- show rather than sit here and talk, you do not want to meet up again.

Then, second, arrange a second date with in the the first date leaving little hints like next time we should do this and that.

6. at last do not expect a kiss

I find it much more exciting to wait. You really don't know that person yet so why would you kiss a beautiful "stranger" in the first place?

I would wait until the second date and see then for myself if everything is fine when kissing as well.

So as a conclusion be the bigger person and ask, because if you don't, you might never know. Do not make him a fairy-tail prince, he is a person just like you who wants to get to know the real you to see if you are a girl he can be with. (By the way, yes be with, I learnt that men wouldn't agree for a date if they didn't have that thought in mind!). Be casual and yourself. Don't overdo your outfit, hair and make- up, rather keep it natural.

Lastly, if you like him just leave a hint to do something you both liked and talked about next time you see each other and as said maybe consider waiting a couple of nights for a desired kiss.

For me, everything went well. I had a lot of fun and laughed a lot and weirdly there were no awkward breaks and pauses. Which was what I was most concerned about. I connected with that person and in the end we arranged another date which I will give further advice later this week.

I hope this was at least a bit helpful for girl that don't have their routine in dating yet and need some mental help and tips.

Have a lovely evening! XXX C